Soar

"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." 

[I actually drafted this sometime in April 2014, while we were on the way to MBS for our Geographical Investigation. I can never forget how we actually spent 2/3 of the time chilling in MBS instead XD] 

So about a week ago (a week before our GI last year haha), Ms yap shared with us an extremely inspirational clip that got me to reflect about my life and what I've been doing. I'm happy to say that I've always tried things that came along in my way, tried to go through hard times and cope with the many obstacles in my life.

You may be thinking what in the world would a 16-year-old have to go through? Truth is, i'm well aware that i'm not alone and there are definitely others who are going through a much harder time than me. Let's just cut to the chase, yes, like i said, last year's been bad and this year's (2k14, i cant stop emphasising how i created this post last year fml) starting off well and i'm enjoying it. But the time that we've got to spend is really very short, we have about 5-6 months left and we're all going to graduate and go our separate ways. 

That leads me to my next point. Stress is starting to seep into us and bleed us dry. Our mother tongue papers are in 2 months' time but it seems like i dont even bother anymore. Then our other papers are in about 6 months' time. It's gonna be really difficult to cope and i already feel like im drowning in the midst of everything. 

Our class definitely went through a lot and is the class that always get scolded and negative remarks from the various teachers we have. 

Something awful happened about 2 weeks ago and i shouldnt post what happened online. But yes, our class seem to have been trying to change and make amendments to our own actions and responsibilities. That incident caused many teachers to approach us. That led to Ms Yap, our Math teacher, who wasn't in any way related to us except through math (of which my classmates refer to as the alien world), approach us and tell us that we should all wake up from our dreams and start appreciating the time with one another. 

Although, she's just our math teacher, our class respects her a lot and i guess it all comes down to fate. 

In any case, Ms Yap has tried, in her own ways, to tell us that life is really really short but while embarking on this rough journey, it feels so long. 

Like i said, i have always been keen to try and experience new things that come along the way. To me, experience is what really matters in life because if all you've done was to lead that monotonous life, your life would be SERIOUSLY meaningless. Life's like that. It's tiring and energy draining and no doubt mentally straining but live it well and make choices that you want, not what others want you to do, because you should go ahead and do things you do NOT regret. 

Everyone has dreams. Be it realistic or not, you definitely have one inside your head. If there's really none, it's time you get your shit together and learn to try out new things and have a wider view of life. 

I've always been insecure about mine and don't be expectant because mine is so unrealistic i dont even think it will even happen. 

Whatever happens, even if i fail, i will, just like what the quote says, gain experience from what i didnt achieve.

As much as i'm highly insecure to voice out my dreams, i shared a speech with the class recently and i hope i will help the people out there. PLEASE DO NOT EVER GIVE UP ON WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. Although it may be tough, learn from your mistakes (or should i say experience) and make it better. 

*** Here goes:

Good morning Miss Chai and fellow classmates, 

              Today, I will be touching on the topic of Singapore being a better place if things were to change. 

              First off, Singapore would be a better place if every one was given equal rights and opportunities to pursue their dreams and realise their talents. Education has led us to thinking that we should all get good grades, then good jobs like being doctors and lawyers because they are “high-paying” jobs. Then, life would be much easier and better. 

              What people don’t realise is that if everyone were to become doctors and laywers, who is going to do the other jobs like low paying jobs? Singaporeans are so good at complaining about foreign talents and them taking over us but if one day, Singapore were to be taken over by foreign talents, what would you do to salvage it?

              It is true that getting good grades and good jobs would better ease our lives. However, have you thought of those who aren’t equally smart to attain good grades and occupations? What are they going to do? How are they going to survive without high paying jobs? Is their future over? Whatever it is, the bottom few will always exist and they are given much lesser opportunities to do what they want to do compared to those from the top as their grades are not as good. 

              In our education system, we are categorized according to how book smart we are and not how well we are able to survive and adapt to new changes in life. We are constantly comparing our grades to others’ and are also constantly being compared to others by our parents. This does not only make many students in Singapore lose motivation in their lives and studies, many turn to suicide and some are down with depression. 

              Not that Singapore’s education system is not good, but because we have so many subjects to study for and there is so much to be tested on, we are in a way, forced to learn everything, whether we like it or not. We chose our subjects in Secondary 2 because we were interested in them, but turns out that we have to memorise everything so that we can complete all the questions during the very limited timed examinations. 

              Back to where I started, Singaporeans are not given much opportunity to establish and work towards our real goals. We are, instead, made to work towards getting good grades. At this age of ours, many of us are in fact, still unsure of what we really want to do. Honestly, I have always wondered “What do I want to do? What am I living for?”. Up till this moment, questions like these still haunt me. 

              The rigid education system has prevented many people from doing what they really want to do because of their grades. A great example is that quite a number of our classmates here have huge dreams to become pilots. Unfortunately, they are stereotyped because “oh, pilots are supposed to be males, they have to be good in math, they have to take physics as their science subject.” As true as this may be, we should always encourage them because putting people down by telling them they can neither do this or that because of their incapability and especially because they dreams are unrealistic could drive one up one’s wall. 

              Isn’t it contradictive that people support the idea of saying that “nothing is impossible” yet they say that our dreams are unrealistic and these are the paths we can’t choose and take in life?

              Studies have shown that the highest suicide rates come from Singapore. To put a bright light for everyone by using an example, is that a female pilot once took off for the Singapore National Day parade (it was in 2005 or 2006 i can't really remember but my Pri 1/2 form teacher told our class and i have no idea how it got to my head). We should all be given a chance to realise our dreams instead of being told that our dreams are unrealistic and we shouldn’t let our hopes get crushed by those hard words. Don’t ever forget that you choose what you do with your life and you make the decisions. Go for what you want to do and not go for what pleases others. Especially when you are told to do what you're good at and no what you WANT to do, remember that you're the one studying, not them. The future is YOURS and YOU decide it. 

              Since all these talking about our education system wouldn’t change a thing about what we’re going to have to continue doing, we should at least make someone’s day better. Smile, they say your smile is the most beautiful because it’s unique and your smile can brighten up someone’s day although you may be oblivious to it. 

              With that, I end my speech. I know this was a long one, thank you for your time and attention. ***

Well, all the best to you guys who are bent on reaching your destination. It takes endurance and determination. Always remember that you'll never make it if you think you won't. 

Just wanna tell y'all that i was indirectly speaking to one of my classmates, Nicole Francis in my speech above that she shouldn't give up on her hopes of becoming a pilot. Well, that was when we were 16. She's taken up some aerospace engineering course in SP and she told us that she knows it's not possible for her to become a pilot, so she'll become one of those people who will make the planes or something like that. I was truly touched at what Nicole told us and she's such an inspiration :') Press on Nic, i know you can do this ♡

I was talking to another friend of mine and i happened to touch on this topic and i really felt like i should share this to help the rest. BTW, i just wanna share that I'm really really happy to hear that the words i said on the day of my speech lighted up Nicole's ears and she was so impressed at that and she was more than determined. Thank you Nic, really. Oh ya, I tend to speak casually all the time in person and SINGLISH is MY THING. So my classmates were just waiting for me to go like 'aiya NEH mind' and like 'you know HOR'. Guys, it was a speech for ENGLISH class and Ms Chai would just slaughter me alive with a parang if i did that HAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

Thank you guys so much for the journey and i'll be updating soon with a long long post man. I swear i've been wanting to blog for FOREVER but im really DAMN LAZY and i've been too constrained to do anything. I have no idea who actually reads my blog but thank you ♡ I really miss 405 and i miss getting scolded for talking sleeping eating and whatsoever. I just wanna be in that classroom again. I miss everyone. To those who are already struggling in JC, please hold on, it'll all be over soon!!! I love you guys so so much ♡♡♡